I always consider myself as a hype, up-to-date and tech-oriented person. I am craving for news and information I spent most of my time in front of my computer, scrolling upon news site and social media timeline. But apparently, for the last two years this obsession has been giving me too much information and instead of providing release, it led me to another obsession.
It is inevitable in this world of easy-sharing, one could find themselves overwhelmed with the many “updates” they see, and not exactly rare, those seconds of glimpse into other people’s life could incite jealousy.
That’s what I am experiencing currently.
I am way too embarrass to tell what I am jealous of. In order to stop myself, I try to play with the setting of my social media so I wouldn’t see any updates that could provoke me. While social media is not entirely bound to our control, ourselves does. But I found that even though I have set my social media feeds carefully, the worst enemy is not the machine but my emotion instead. I am the one who keeps on trying to provoke myself. It hurt me to do this, but it also provide me with a weird sense of gratification. So though the intrusion stops, I am the one who actively seeking them.
I think I am a little bit masochist.